Chapter Six
AJ stopped just inside the doorway, his eyes fastened on the woman in the bed. His throat constricted. Tina was pale, looked ready to pass out at any moment.
For a moment, he struggled with his memories of her. She had always been so strong, being there for him, for all the guys, when they'd been on tour. He remembered watching her help set up the stage...watching her and Nick argue about her webpage...her dark hair fanned out across the pillow as he rose over her, her heart shining in her eyes.
Now as her dark hair fanned across her pillow, she looked weak and weary. There were circles under her eyes, dark smudges he'd missed yesterday.
He's been furious when Howie had told him what was going on. He barely remembered Amanda joining him as he'd flown down the highway, hell bent on the truth.
This woman had loved him, given him her heart, and he'd thrown it, and her, away. If what he'd heard from the nurses down the hall was correct, she'd nearly died bringing his son and daughter into the world...and she might never have another.
God he was a bastard to take so much from her.
"Hello, Tina," he said, voice choked with emotion, not noticing Nick stiffen at her side.
Dr. Terry stepped in front of him. "She needs to rest."
"No," came Tina's weak reply from the bed. "We need to talk."
"Tas?" Nick began, "are you sure?"
AJ didn't miss the look between them, nor the way she lightly squeezed his hand. "It's all right."
"She's been through quite enough," Dr. Terry glared at AJ.
You put her through enough...the words hung in the air, unspoken. AJ nodded. "I won't stay long." His eyes met Nick's over Terry's shoulder. "You're not staying?"
Nick shook his head. "You two deserve privacy for this." Then his face hardened, and he stepped around Terry to glare directly into AJ's eyes. "But if you do anything else..."
AJ raised his hands placatingly, cutting off the other man. "I won't do anything."
Nick glared at him a moment more, blue eyes intense as they searched his face. Then Nick nodded, following Terry out of the room. AJ watched the other man go, wondering how long Nick had been in love with Tina.
"I won't let you take them away."
AJ's gaze fell back on the bed, and he walked over slowly. Only when he sat in the chair Nick had vacated did he speak, "I don't intend to."
Her dark eyes narrowed. "Why should I believe you? Yesterday..."
"Yesterday I needed to know the truth, if you really were pregnant," he interrupted. He took her hand in his. She was so cold. "You must have known before you left. Why didn't you tell me?"
She looked at him, her dark eyes searching his face. Finally, she sighed, falling deeper into the pillows. "You never loved me AJ."
"But..."
Her dark eyes flashed. "You still loved Amanda. I could never compete with her memory." She sighed again, her flash of spirit gone, leaving her weaker than before. "I loved you, and once I realized I was pregnant, yes, I shamelessly decided to keep the little piece of you I could." Her lips twitched, then that hint of a smile faded as well. "I couldn't stay, and I didn't want you to think of the babies as a reason to keep me when you really wanted Amanda instead."
AJ sighed. "I did love you...in a way."
Her lips twitched again. "Not in the way that mattered though."
He cleared his throat. "So, you and Nick..." He hesitated, then, "Nick? Why Nick? Why not Kevin or Howie or someone I don't know?"
"I see you don't mention Brian," she said, lips turned up in a weary smile.
"Brian loves Leighanne."
Tina nodded. "Yes, he does. Just like Howie loves Kat, and Kevin loves Kristen."
"So Nick's the last resort?" AJ asked hopefully.
His words won him a soft chuckle. "Nick and I have more in common than you and I ever could." Her hand gently cupped his cheek. "Forgive me?"
"Forgive you? What's to forgive? I should be down on my knees, begging your forgiveness." He swallowed hard. "I've been such a bastard..."
She caught his hand, brought it to her lips. They were dry as they brushed across his knuckles. "You can't help where your heart lies...or doesn't." She tried to hide a yawn, and failed.
AJ gently disengaged his hands. "I'd better go."
Her voice stopped him at the doorway, "Still friends?"
His eyes on the pale figure on the bed, he wondered how he could ever make amends for all he'd done. "Always."
Nick pounced on him as soon as the door opened. The two men eyed each other warily. Then AJ closed the space between them, pulled the younger man close for a hug. Nick stiffened with surprise, then hugged him back. "Take care of her," AJ said, pulling away.
"Always have," Nick replied with a grin, then sobered. "Seen your kids yet?"
AJ nodded, then smiled. "Take care of them too." He turned to go.
"You're not..."
"I'm not," AJ said over his shoulder.
Nick watched him go, then opened the door to Tina's room. She was asleep, her pale form still on the bed. He crossed to her side, took his place in the chair by her bed. When he took her hand in his, her eyes opened. "Love you, Nicky," she whispered sleepily, eyes already drifting shut again.
He leaned close, kissed her cheek. "I love you, too."