Chapter 3
By the time the burning in her chest stopped completely, the water had cooled. Maggie finished quickly and stepped out, wincing as the towel slid across her skin. It had been worse this time. She sighed. It had been wonderful…and more real than real life felt sometimes.
She opened the bathroom door, and poked her head out, listening for Kat. Kat, it seemed, had retreated behind the closed door of her bedroom. Maggie went to her room, shut the door, and when she turned, she found a folded piece of paper on her pillow. She sighed, crossed the room, picked it up, and read:
“Mags, Listen, I really think you need to talk to someone about this…Loki. I overheard some woman named Lewis who was talking about someone named Loki who was responsible for that alien thing in New York last year and that alien thing in London a few months ago. You probably just used ‘Loki’ to replace Brian…”
She didn’t bother reading anymore, just crumpled the paper in her fist. “Overheard someone who mentioned someone,” she grumbled, tossing the paper on her desk. She glared at it as it skidded across the edge of the desk, glanced off the side of the chair, and fell to the floor. She rolled her eyes and headed to her closet. She did need to speak to someone, but it wouldn’t be the “Lewis woman”. As for Brian…hangers scraped loudly along the bar in her closet, and she stopped before she really damaged something. How dare she bring up Brian?
Maggie took a deep breath and picked a forest green cable knit sweater and dark tan khakis. She found a nice pair of dark brown boots. She lay them on her bed, and shut the closet doors.
“Brian has nothing to do with this,” she muttered as she started to dress, draping the towel on the edge of the chair. She glared once more at the piece of paper under her desk. “Brian is the opposite…the antithesis of Loki: fair where Loki is dark; gentle where Loki is fierce; false where Loki is…loyal.” Her throat tightened, and she shook her head. Thinking of Brian did absolutely no good. He had been out of her life for nearly 2 years, and had been dead for over a year. There was no way Brian could have anything to do with her dreams.
She dressed quickly, banishing thoughts of Brian. Kat had had one point, Maggie had to admit, and that was that she needed to know why there had been pain the last two times she’d been woken from the dream. Nothing much else had been different. She paused, her foot only half in her boot.
Loki had been different this last time. His outfit had been different…
Maggie shook her head, slipped the boot the rest of the way on, and stood. It was a dream, and anything could change in a dream. The outfit just resembled his armor. It was something more casual. That was all. The pain upon waking was the important part. There was someone she knew who should have an answer for her. After all, Dr. Selena Barstad was the one who had suggested her little dreamscape in the first place.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The university was the same as every other time she’d been to visit. Students bustled down halls, their arms laden with books. Other students lounged indolently, chatting with each other. Still others had their eyes on their smartphones or iPads or actual books as they made their way across campus.
Dr. Barstad’s office was located on the lower level of Keswick Hall. Maggie waited impatiently for the elevator, feeling completely out of place. When the elevator doors finally opened, only one other person joined her in the elevator: a twenty-something young man with dark hair who seemed intent on the book in his hands. He’d nodded at her once, and she took it for an apology as he nearly walked into her when he entered the elevator. She nodded back, jabbing the button for the lower level. When he didn’t move to push a button, she prompted, “What floor?”
“Hm?” he asked, not looking up from his book.
“What. Floor?” she spoke slowly, pasting a smile on her face.
“Hm? Oh…uhm…” He looked at the lit panel and nodded. “It’s already lit. Thanks,” he added absently, turning back to his book.
Maggie grit her teeth, biting back a growl, and watched the buttons light up in descending order. The elevator didn’t stop on any other floor, and before she could even tap her foot, the doors opened on the lower level. She took a moment to get her bearings, and headed off down the proper corridor. She rounded one corner, and she found Dr. Barstad in conversation with two other women. They were all of a height, which meant they were all slightly shorter than her. Dr. Barstad was still quite blonde, though the wrinkles on her face hinted at her advancing age. Her companions both had dark hair, though one appeared more studious in manner while the other…well, Maggie wouldn’t have been surprised to find her waiting tables at the local diner.
“Selena,” the studious one was speaking, “you have to tell me more!”
“She’s a patient, and doctor-patient confidentiality applies,” Dr. Barstad replied, “I can’t tell you more unless she agrees.”
“Company’s coming,” the should-be-waitress was saying, watching as Maggie came to a halt a few feet away.
Dr. Barstad and the woman with her both looked in her direction at the other woman’s warning, and then Dr. Barstad turned back to their conversation. “I believe we’re done here, Jane.” When the other woman opened her mouth, Dr. Barstad continued, “I promise, I will call you later, but I think my patient needs me.”
Maggie frowned. She didn’t know exactly what was going on, but had a feeling this Jane wanted something, and Dr. Barstad was convinced it concerned her. “I know I don’t have an appointment, but I need to…discuss…something…with you.” She looked meaningfully at Jane and her companion before turning back to Dr. Barstad. “Please,” she added as an afterthought.
Sensing defeat, Jane called to her companion, “Come on, Darcy, we should join Erik at the lab.” She turned to Dr. Barstad, “Selena, I’ll be waiting for your call.” Jane and Darcy walked past her; only Jane nodded at her as she passed.
Maggie nodded back. Part of her was curious, but another was impatient with questions. That side won out. When Jane and Darcy were out of earshot, Maggie came forward, stopping a few steps from the doctor’s office door. “Please, Doc, I need your help.”
Dr. Barstad unlocked the door and indicated for Maggie to go first. She did, and headed straight for the inner office. She stood in front of the chair in front of the large oak desk and waited as Dr. Barstad came in, shut the door behind her, and moved behind the desk, leaning on the oak surface. “Maggie, I don’t know why you’re here, but…”
Maggie leaned forward, glaring at the doctor, “I’m here, Doc, because I need to know why it hurts like hell when I wake from the dreamscape that you suggested I create.”
Dr. Barstad blinked, falling back a step. “Hurts like…what do you mean?”
“I mean, Doc, that I feel like my heart is being burned out of my chest, and I can’t stop shaking.” She sighed, dropping into one of the chairs. “It’s happened twice now, and I need to know how to stop it before it happens again.” She looked up at Dr. Barstad. “Because I refuse to give up my library and…and Loki.”
The doctor dropped into her chair. “But..that shouldn’t happen. There shouldn’t be any pain on waking if it’s just a dream.”
Maggie’s eyes narrowed. “I figured that much out by myself, Doc, thanks,” she growled. “So if it isn’t an ordinary dream, what…is…it?”
Dr. Barstad stared at her for a very long moment, and Maggie started to fidget. Just as she was about to repeat the question, the doctor replied, “I’ve been doing some research…and you’ve helped with some of that, along with another patient or two.”
“So I was a lab rat.” It wasn’t a question. “What kind of research?”
Dr. Barstad had the grace to look uncomfortable under Maggie’s furious gaze. “The research deals with creating a pocket dimension with the mind.” She rose from her chair, crossed the room to the water cooler, and poured a cup. She offered it to Maggie, who shook her head. Dr. Barstad swallowed it in one gulp and poured another.
When she didn’t speak again, Maggie prompted, “Creating another dimension through dreams?” Is that what she’d done? Her library had felt real enough…so had Loki. “Does that mean everything there is…real?”
Dr. Barstad reclaimed her seat behind the desk and didn’t meet Maggie’s eyes. “The only one who has achieved it is you.” Her well manicured hands fidgeted with the paper cup. “The library is a place in another dimension, maybe another plane of existence, I don’t know.” She looked at Maggie. “Maybe if you brought me there…”
“No.” Maggie rose from her chair and started to pace. She felt rather possessive about her library and wanted to keep the good doctor as far away as possible. She ground her teeth for a moment then swallowed. She turned to meet the Doctor’s gaze. “What about Loki? Kat thinks that he’s something I created to replace Brian.”
“That’s…possible,” she admitted.
“But you don’t think so,” Maggie felt slightly vindicated. Brian didn’t have anything to do with it after all.
“No, I don’t,” she admitted, “mostly because Loki already exists, so he couldn’t be a temporal replacement for Brian.”
Maggie’s legs felt like rubber. “What do you mean, he already exists?”
“Surely you’re aware of the attack on New York a year ago?” the doctor prompted. “I’m sure we spoke briefly about it.”
Maggie gave in, crossed back to her chair, and fairly collapsed into it. She shook her head. “If we did, I don’t remember.”
The doctor continued, “There are conflicting reports about it: some say that it was terrorists again; some say that it was aliens that were defeated by the CIA; and some say that there were superheroes who won.” She sipped her water, her eyes on Maggie as she put the cup back down. “It was Loki who lead the attack there, and he had also been spotted in Germany.”
“Loki…is real?” her voice was a squeak.
“Loki is a god,” the doctor replied, “or has the power of one.”
“And do you know what you do when you meet a god?” She shook her head, and he gripped her chin, forcing her gaze to his. “You…kneel.”
The memory of their first meeting flashed through her mind, and she buried her face in her hands. “Norse god of mischief, of chaos,” Maggie said softly.
“Well…yes,” Dr. Barstad was watching her closely. “Perhaps he interfered with your creation…”
The words trailed off, and Maggie considered it. Loki hadn’t changed anything about the library. He’d read to her…he’d read with her. Her cheeks heated as a memory flashed through her mind of being on her back on the couch with him above her, within her… She rubbed her face and looked at the doctor. “No…no, I don’t believe he has.”
Dr. Barstad considered this. “Maybe he’s trying to keep you in the dimension,” she offered. “And he’s making you manifest there, so it’s painful when you rejoin your body asleep in bed.”
“He’s…he’s trying to make me real…there…in the dream? Is that what you’re saying?” the doctor nodded. “Why would he want to do that?” Maggie wanted to know.
“Why indeed,” Dr. Barstad replied. “You mentioned a growing relationship between you and Loki. Perhaps that has something to do with it.”
“Perhaps,” Maggie said softly, running a hand nervously through her hair. “What about your friend earlier? Jane, wasn’t it?”
Dr. Barstad shifted uncomfortably. “Jane Foster, yes. She thinks that the dimension created by dreaming may be used as…a bridge…to yet another dimension.”
“And what do you think, Doc?”
“I think it may be possible, but she’d need someone to teach her. If she even has the ability.”
‘You’re the only one who’s been able to make it work so far,’ goes unsaid, Maggie thought. She rubbed her hands over her face. “I need to think,” she thought out loud.
“Here,” Dr. Barstad pulled one of her business cards and scribbled something on the back. When Maggie took it from her, she saw a phone number. “That’s Jane’s phone number. When you’re ready, give her a call.” She smiled, and Maggie assumed it was supposed to be reassuring. As she rose from her chair, she decided that she wasn’t remotely reassured. “She’s got some experience with gods.”
Oh, she had sex repeatedly with a god in a dimension that she dreamed up? Maggie wondered bitterly. “How so?” she asked instead.
“She was…involved…with Loki’s brother, Thor,” she replied. “Which I believe is her reasoning for wanting a way to his dimension.”
“To Asgard,” Maggie said softly. “Thanks, Doc,” she said, not without a bit of sarcasm. Her library had been the doctor’s idea, after all, and it was her ‘experiment’. Maggie left the doctor’s office without another word.